.Publisher's Note: The observing is the message of a character coming from Expedition 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reassessing the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created significantly about specifics of this goal throughout the month I have actually been actually listed here, generally for 2 reasons: the very first being that there has been actually quite little bit of opportunity to do that type of writing, and also secondly because I'm unsure exactly how pleasant I am sharing notions I show friends and family with the remainder of the world.Well, certainly the planet modified today. What I point out or even perform is actually very small reviewed to the significance of what occurred to our nation today when it was struck by ... through whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I suspect. Hard to understand at whom to direct our temper and also worry ...I had merely finished an amount of jobs this morning, one of the most time-consuming being actually the physical examinations of all team participants. In a private discussion adhering to that, the trip doctor informed me they were having a really negative time on the ground. I possessed no idea ...He explained the situation to me as absolute best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually dumbfounded, at that point alarmed. My 1st thought was that this wasn't a genuine chat, that I was actually still listening to some of my Tom Clancy strips. It simply didn't appear feasible on this scale in our nation. I could not also visualize the particulars, even prior to the news of additional destruction began being available in.Vladimir came over pretty quickly, picking up that one thing extremely serious was actually being actually discussed. I waved Michael in to the element at the same time. They were likewise astonished and also stunned. After we authorized off, I attempted to clarify to Vladimir and also Michael as absolute best I could possibly the prospective magnitude of this act of fear in downtown New york and also at the Government. They accurately knew as well as were actually very thoughtful.I glanced at the Globe Map on the pc to view where over the globe our experts were and also saw that our team were happening southeast away from Canada and also would be actually skipping New England in a couple of mins. I whized around the terminal until I found a window that would offer me a viewpoint of New York City and also snatched the closest cam. It happened to be a camera, and I was looking south from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess a strange blossom to it at the bottom of the column that was actually streaming south of the urban area. After reading among the newspaper article we just obtained, I feel our company were checking out NY around the time of, or even not long after, the crash of the 2nd high rise. Just how horrendous ...I scanned the cam all along the East Coastline to the south to observe if I could possibly observe some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, however absolutely nothing showed up.It was actually pretty complicated to think about job after that, though our company had some to do, yet on the following orbit our experts went across the United States further southern. All 3 people were actually operating one or two cams to try to obtain perspectives of Nyc or Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, but no specific resource could be seen. It all appeared extraordinary coming from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can not picture the awful scenes on the ground.Aside from the mental effect of our country being dealt with and countless our people and also perhaps some friends being killed, the best overwhelming sensation being where I am is among solitude.Following day ... I reckon the fatigue and also emotional strain obtained the most ideal of me. I could not remain awake and also continue to compose. Today was actually still complicated, however we began receiving even more details, plus our company possessed the tribute of talking straight with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, who ensured our company that the ground groups will continue to work and also ensure our safety, and also the secure procedure of the Station. Our experts additionally talked to our Manager, Mr. Goldin, who added that the companions in the Plan are all completely devoted to proceeding secure operations and assistance. These were never ever questions for me. I understand all these folks! The ground groups have actually been actually exceptionally supportive, extremely understanding of the effect of the headlines, as well as have actually attempted to become as practical as feasible. They have actually all been actually very professional as well as centered though I can't picture the interruption of this type of updates can be found in as well as the idea that federal government buildings might be in jeopardy. They certainly never bypassed a beat, also when transferring nerve center. And also a group of senior staffs as well as buddies gave our team a pretty thorough briefing about what was actually recognized as well as what was being carried out in the government and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually very practical and type of them to do in the middle of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has likewise been actually supporting and handy, attempting to uplink news articles when our very own properties were actually inoperable, as well as claiming kind words ...My crewmates have actually been actually wonderful, as well. They recognize it's been actually a difficult day for me as well as the people on the ground, and also they've attempted to become as also keeled and also useful as feasible. Michael even fixed me my favored Borscht soup for supper. As well as they provide me loads of area to think when I needed it. They are really compassionate as well as of course outraged at whoever will do this.I understand plenty of individuals in Washington, numerous people who travel to DC and NYC, plenty of who are actually aviators, that I really felt certain I will acquire a minimum of a couple of parts of bad news over the following handful of days. I got the initial one today when I found out that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that struck the Government was actually Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I came across Chic during plebe summer months when our experts resided in the D&B together, and we possessed tons of classes together. I can't envision what he should of gone through, and currently I hear that he might possess increased better than our company can even think of through potentially stopping his aircraft from being actually the one to tackle the White House. What a horrible reduction, but I make sure Chic was combating fearlessly to the end. And also tears do not circulate the very same in space ...It's complicated to describe how it experiences to become the only American completely off the world at a time like this. The emotion that I should be there along with each one of you, handling this, aiding in some way, is difficult. I know that our company perform the threshold (or even past) of a terrible switch in the record of the planet. Many traits will certainly never coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not merely for the manies thousand as well as thousands of folks straight influenced through these horrendous process of terrorism, yet most likely for we all. We will certainly discover our own selves really feeling differently concerning lots of points, featuring probably room exploration, unfortunately.It is actually awful to see smoke cigarettes putting from injuries in your own country from such a fantastic angle. The duality of being on a space capsule devoted to strengthening live on the planet as well as seeing life being actually destroyed through such witting, horrendous acts is jolting to the mind, despite that you are. And the know-how that whatever will definitely be actually various than when we launched due to the opportunity our company land is a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and also in our management that our experts will carry out everything possible to better protect her as well as our loved ones, and also to take justice wherefore has actually been done. I have confidence that the really good folks at NASA are going to perform every little thing needed to continue our goal safely and securely as well as return our team securely at the correct time. And I miss out on every one of you quite. I can't exist along with you face to face, as well as our company possess a very long way to visit accomplish our purpose, however be certain that my soul is actually along with you, and understand you remain in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final letter ... Thankfully, it's been actually a hectic full week up below. As well as to prove that, like our country, our company are continuing on our intended course along with organization customarily (as high as feasible). Tonight the latest add-on to the place, the Russian Docking Compartment will definitely be released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US opportunity), it will certainly dock with us, at a slot never made use of prior to on the nadir edge of the Service Module. This new module will certainly give us an additional area to dock a Development or Soyuz and will offer a large airlock with two able to be used hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our experts are going to perform a few of prior to our company get back.The complication just before in handling today was actually inadequate news. The problem right now is excessive. It came simultaneously when e-mail was rejuvenated, as well as there is actually not enough time to review everything! Plus it is actually too tough to take care of all of it at the same time. However I appreciate getting it, and I truly appreciate the terrific letters of help and friendly relationship I am acquiring.Our company are actually succeeding aboard, receiving our work carried out, and also talking about factors. Final night our team had a long discussion over supper about the importance of these events, the possible actions to observe, and what need to be actually carried out. After dinner, Michael made a point of telling me that every email he got from close friends in Russia said primarily to inform me just how regretful they were actually that this occurred, prolonging their condolences, and talking to exactly how I was actually performing. Vladimir educated me the Russian term for "acknowledgements" after consulting with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English words are actually much extremely lengthy to pronounce quickly.) Extremely type people.For the last two days, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to transmit real-time shows of radio information concerning the event as well as associated accounts, to see to it I was properly updated. Every specialist who has started the line to cover a technique or a problem contends some factor stretched introductions to me with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that due to the big day of recognition in the United States, all the time folks had been carrying blooms and also edging all the walls of the United States consulate in Moscow, and also this evening they were igniting candlesticks in the road outside the consular office. Just how the planet has altered.Individuals almost everywhere seem to realize the senselessness as well as terror within this assault. And the remarkable loss. Moscow has handled these kind of issues in the last couple of years along with flat as well as metro bombings, so they are as troubled to get rid of this hazard as our experts are. Yet all-time low collection is that there are actually good folks all over that wish to live in calmness. I read that a kid asked, "America is actually thus excellent to other countries, our team consistently aid every person, just how can they dislike us so much?".I hope the example of collaboration and also leave that this spacecraft and all people in the system illustrate daily are going to sooner or later motivate the remainder of the world to work similarly. They must!Unfortunately, we will not be actually flighting over the United States while folks are lighting candle lights. Don't know if our company might view that in any case. Our team performed, nevertheless, find an incredibly unique as well as gorgeous view a couple of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz booster. We were overtaking it and also it appeared concerning three minutes after its launch from Baikonur as the sun attacked our station, so it was actually still at night. It appeared like a large comet along with a straight, wide rear silhouetted against the dark earth underneath. Even with some bad lights for a while as the sun hit our window at a reduced perspective, I dealt with some online video of it as initially we passed the rocket, and then saw it begin to catch up as it gained height and also rate. I recorded till major engine cutoff and also enhancer splitting up took place just like our team approached dawn on the Mountain ranges. A memorable attraction in an extraordinary full week ...Lifestyle happens, even precede. We're listed here to remain ... Frank.